Building the Family Read online

  Book One

  The Dancing Wolf Series

  Building the Family

  By Amy DeMeritt

  Building the Family

  Book One of The Dancing Wolf Series

  Copyright © 2017 Amy DeMeritt

  All Rights Reserved.

  ISBN-13: 978-1547258802

  ISBN-10: 1547258802

  This book may not be reproduced in any form, in whole or in part, without written permission from the author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or events is entirely coincidental.

  Cover designed by Amy DeMeritt

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Coming Soon…

  Other works by Amy DeMeritt

  Chapter One

  Packing for college has to be one of the most frustrating things I’ve ever done. When you’ve spent your entire life filling a room with bits of who you are, and things you feel like you need on a daily basis, how do you pick and choose just the “essentials”. My parents took me to buy “dorm essentials”, like bed linens, a lamp, desk organizers, school supplies, toiletries, and so forth. But now I need to pack the “life essentials” – clothes, shoes, jewelry, stuff I might want to plaster my walls with, music, books, and movies.

  I have two giant suitcases open on my bed and they are completely empty, yet I leave for college tomorrow morning. My mom has already been in here several times trying to toss things at me just to get something into the black nylon life transporters that are supposed to help carry the “essential bits of me and my life” a thousand miles away from home. Each time, she gets emotional and walks out because she doesn’t want me to leave.

  Well, she does and she doesn’t. My mom is happy I got into the school I wanted to, but she’s not happy about not seeing me every day. I’m feeling that too. I love my family and it’s going to be hard not seeing them every day. Maybe that’s part of why I’m having such a hard time packing.

  Staring defiantly at the bags with my arms crossed, they don’t seem to be eager in helping me decide what will go into them, and what will be forced to stay behind.

  “You’re still not packed?”

  My defiant scowl curls upwards into a happy smile at the low raspy voice. I turn and am immediately wrapped in a warm embrace and have her lips pressed against mine. She slips her tongue between my lips and flicks and teases my tongue for a moment. She pulls back giving my bottom lip a tight pinch between her teeth and smiles.

  Sam is like smooth milk with a touch of honey and cinnamon. Her skin is milky white with a light dusting of very small freckles across her small delicate face and shoulders. And her hair is honey blonde with nearly white highlights. She always reminds me of a delicate porcelain doll with her thin frame and impossibly white skin tone. I really like the way her stark white looks against my warm copper. Her honey blonde tangled with my black hair on a pillow always reminds me of honey bees and summer.

  “Kayla, you know you leave tomorrow, right?” My packing frustration returns and I pull back and exhale my discontent with this task. “Yeah, I know. I can’t decide what to bring and what to leave.”

  Sam pushes the suitcases over on my bed and sits down next to them.

  “It’s not like you’re leaving this stuff forever. Besides, if you get out there and think you need something, your mom can just mail it to you. You’re probably just overthinking it with your overly sentimental tendencies. It’s just stuff.”

  My frustration increases and I feel my brows pinch, lips purse, and eyes narrow. Sam grabs my hands and pulls me closer to stand between her legs.

  “Don’t look at me like that. You know I’m right. Do you want me to help you?”

  I pull back and walk across the room to lean against my dresser with my arms folded.

  “No, I’ll figure it out.”

  Why would I want someone that thinks the bits of me in this room is just “stuff” to help me with something this important? She’s always teasing me about being sentimental. What’s wrong with keeping something that reminds me of something or someone that makes me happy?

  “Kayla, come back over here.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, you’re not just leaving this room tomorrow. I’d prefer not to have so much distance between us on our last day together.”

  My frustration immediately turns into sadness and my stomach churns with a sickness that makes my head feel woozy. Sam smiles and reaches her hand out to me. I push off my dresser and walk back over to her.

  When I’m between her legs again, Sam reaches for the button of my jeans and looks in my eyes with a seductive grin. I grab her hands and shake my head.

  “Sam, my whole family is home. Anyone could walk in here any minute. My mom has already been in here to check on my packing progress at least five times today.”

  “When has that ever stopped us? We need one more time together, before we leave for different schools’ tomorrow. Besides, we’re eighteen. We’re adults now, so they can’t say anything about it anymore.”

  “How are you not freaking out? How are you so calm and carefree?”

  Her smile fades and she leans back on her hands. She looks up at me with a sadness in her eyes that I’ve only ever seen when she tells me about her parents fights. I quickly turn and lock my bedroom door. I pull the suitcases off of the bed and sit down next to her. I try to wrap my arm around her to console her, but she pushes on my shoulders, pinning me to the bed, and she climbs on top of me.

  “I don’t want to talk anymore. I want you to have sex with me. I need to feel you on me and in me, one last time.”

  I don’t like the way she says, “one last time”, but before I can think about asking her why her tone was so “final” in that statement, she presses her lips against mine and starts kissing me with wild abandon, making my head go foggy.

  I run my hands up her thin thighs and pull her down on top of myself, removing the small gap of cold air that was resting between us.

  Hands, lips, tongues, legs, and fabric fly and lash together in a dizzying haze. We grind and tumble in my sheets one more time before we head in different directions tomorrow.

  Sam bites down hard into my shoulder as she climaxes to stifle her sounds of pleasure. I bite my lip to choke back my own sounds of pleasure laced with the pain of her breaking the skin of my shoulder.

  She rolls off of me, panting for air. I reach up and feel my shoulder. I draw my hand back and there are two small dabs of blood on two of my fingers. I look over at her and she’s grinning in a proud way. She takes my hand and sucks the blood off.

  “You really are a li
ttle freak, you know that?” She laughs hard and smacks my stomach. “You like it.” She turns on her side to face me and leaves her hand on my stomach, tracing my muscles. “I’m going to miss your body. I really like feeling you against me and playing with your abs.”

  “Only going to miss my body?”

  “Kayla, don’t do that. You know I’m going to miss you.” She looks down in a sad way and moves her hand from my stomach to trace patterns on my arm. “I uh, do you, I mean…”

  “Sam, what’s going on?” I sit up and she follows. She looks in my eyes in a way that makes my blood run cold and then she starts to stand. “Let’s get dressed.”

  With a racing heart, I start putting my clothes back on. After I’ve pulled my tank top back over my head, Sam wraps her arms around me, holding me very tightly. She kisses my neck a few times and then pulls back, taking two backwards steps towards the door.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I can’t do long distance.” The blood drains from my body and I feel like the wind has been knocked out of my lungs. “Wait, what? Are you breaking up with me?” Sam looks down and takes another small step backwards. “I’m sorry.” She quickly turns to open the door, but I leap forward and grab her. “Wait, stop. Can’t we talk about this?”

  She grabs the sides of my face with tears in her eyes and kisses me hard on the lips. She gives me a hard, fast kiss and then pulls back.

  “Kayla, I think I could have fallen in love with you one day, and I don’t want that to happen when we’re a thousand miles apart and I can’t lay in your arms. I’ve only ever been with you. I don’t want to fall in love so young before I experience life and other people.”

  “So, what the hell was this?” I wave a hand at my bed and her face flares red and more tears pour from her eyes. “Why did you insist on having sex with me one last time just to break up with me? You just horny and need a fix before you leave?”

  “No! It’s not like that. God, Kayla. Do you think this is easy for me? I don’t want to break up with you, but it’s going to hurt too much talking to you without being able to be with you and see you.”

  “And you want to be able to sleep with other people.”

  “Well, I don’t know. I mean, don’t you? Don’t you want to make sure what we have is the best or see if there is better out there?”

  “Honestly, no. I haven’t even thought about it.”

  “Not even once? You haven’t fantasized even once about meeting some really pretty girl on campus and making her your puppet and then going down on her?”

  I look at her with a heavy weight in my heart. That’s how Sam and I got together. We weren’t really friends in school and didn’t really talk. I had appreciated her appearance from a safe distance because I didn’t think she’d be interested in me. She almost always had a boyfriend and she’s so much more “girlie” than I am. I’m a tomboy with a “skater” style in clothes and shoes. I was at a party one night and she saw me dancing and started dancing with me. She allowed me to make her my puppet and move her and instruct her in the moves and positions I wanted her to get into. She was so turned on after a few hours that we hooked up and have been together ever since. That was seven months ago.

  “So, you don’t love me, after all this time together?”

  “Do you love me? You’ve never said those words to me.”

  “I don’t know. But even if I do, what’s the point of saying it now when it’s over?” She steps forward and wraps her arms around my neck, giving me a soft kiss on the lips. “It doesn’t have to be over. This can just be a break to see if we’re really supposed to be together. We’ll go to college, meet new people, have other experiences, and then maybe we’ll know for sure. Seven months is a long time to be together without us telling each other, ‘I love you’, don’t you think?”

  “So, this is it. You walk out that door and I won’t see or talk to you anymore?” She shakes her head and presses her lips against mine again. Her tongue glides across my closed lips, seeking access. “Let me in, Kayla.”

  I release a small sound of agitation and obey. She smiles against my lips as she engages me in a very slow soft kiss. The slow progress of her lips and tongue almost makes me forget what’s really happening here. I firmly run my hands up her back, pulling her in harder against my body. Sam releases a small moan and leans into me more, pushing me backwards towards the bed.

  I land hard with her on top of me and she immediately starts trying to unbutton my jeans again. I pull back and push up on her shoulders. Her mouth breaks from mine and I feel her tears drip down onto my cheeks. She’s crying again.

  “God dammit, Sam.”

  I pull her back down and roll her over onto her back. I work slow and methodical, shedding her clothes and caressing her body with my hands, lips, and tongue like they are feathers. Between quiet sobs, she releases long low moans and gasping breaths of air. After she cums, I climb up next to her and hold her while she cries.

  “I don’t want any other girl having you like this.”

  “Are you going to be with other people?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I’m not yours to keep like this anymore.”

  “I know. I just wish…”

  “What, that’d sit heartbroken in my dorm pining over you while you go sleeping with whomever you want?”

  “No, that sounds horrible. I don’t know what I mean. Can we still be friends?”

  “We were never friends. Would we know how to be?” She lifts her head off my chest to look at me. Her eyes are red and her face is splotchy from crying. “Can we try? It’s hard enough losing you like this. I like talking to you and confiding in you. I like your voice and your laugh.” Fresh tears prickle at her eyes and she swallows hard. “Sam, why are you doing this? The real reason. You’re a complete wreck.” She sobs and falls onto my chest. “I know. Why aren’t you?”

  “Because, you’re such a wreck that I’m expecting you to change your mind.” She shakes her head against me. “I’m not changing my mind, Kayla. Will you fall apart with me now?”

  “No.” She looks up at me again with so much pain it’s hard to look at. “Why not?”

  “Because, you don’t get to break my heart and then watch me suffer from it. Whatever comfort you would gain from watching that, I’m not giving it to you. This is your choice. I’m not going to help you feel better about it.”

  “Will you take me back if I miss you too much?”

  “Possibly. We’ll try being friends and see how that works out.”

  “Thanks. I really am going to miss the hell out of you. I kind of wish I could take you with me.”

  “I’d just cramp your style while your trying to be a freak with the rest of the campus.” She slaps my arm pretty roughly and settles back down onto my chest. “It’s too soon for jokes.”

  “Yeah, I felt it.”

  She squeezes me and pushes deeper into my chest. Out of habit, I kiss the top of her head, and regret it immediately, as I feel an ache in my chest. This is the last time I’ll ever hold her like this.

  She cries into my chest for a while, occasionally lifting her head to kiss my neck and lips. The longer we lay like this, the colder I feel. I know we had never said it, but I really believed she loved me. She lifts her head to look in my eyes and the sadness and regret in her eyes is painful to look at.

  “I have to go.”

  “I know. I guess I have to pack.” She looks around my room with sadness deeply lining her forehead. “I guess you won’t be taking any pictures of me now.”

  “If you’re sticking to this breaking my heart plan, then probably not.” She kisses my lips firmly and quickly rolls over to climb off the bed. She starts putting her clothes on with a panicked urgency. She breaks down crying again as she looks down at me sitting on the edge of the bed. “Do you hate me?” I shake my head. “No.” She gives me a weak smile and pulls me up to wrap her arms around me. “I’ll text you. Goodbye, Kayla.” My chest tightens and I tak
e a deep breath. “Goodbye, Sam.”

  She pulls back, quickly wipes her eyes, and practically runs out of my room. I fall back onto my bed sitting with my head in my hands. I can’t believe that just happened.

  “Uh, what’s going on? Why did Sam run out of here like that?” Sara, my oldest sister, walks in and I shake my head. “She dumped me. I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Her face shows genuine sadness and compassion for me. “Ok, you know where to find me if you want to talk.”

  There’s only one person I want to talk to and be with right now, but she’s over six hundred miles away in Cherokee, North Carolina. I met Awenasa when I was five years old at a pow wow, and ever since, we have been connected in a way that I’ve never connected to another person. She is perfect in every way and knows me better than anyone. I can easily tell her I love her and she tells me she loves me, but we’ve never advanced into a physical relationship. I don’t know why. I grab my phone off my desk and send her text. I want to hear her sweet voice, but I’m afraid I’ll break down crying, and I just don’t want to do that.

  Me: Sam just dumped me.

  Awenasa: Hello, my love. How are you doing?

  Me: Kind of in shock. My heart aches.

  Awenasa: Is it my fault? I know she didn’t like how close we are.

  Me: No, she said she can’t handle long distance and she wants to see if there’s something better out there. She also said she doesn’t want to fall in love so young.

  Awenasa: There’s nothing better than you out there. That girl is crazy if she thinks there is. I only get to see you a couple times a year right now, but I’m so happy we fell in love so young. Your heart gives me so much joy and happiness, even when we’re apart.

  Me: I love you and I wish I could see you right now. I’ve been missing you like crazy since you went home.

  Awenasa and a bunch of family and friends were here visiting a month ago, for an annual tribal counsel and pow wow in state.

  Awenasa: I miss you too. If I was there right now, what would you like to do?