The Perfect Right Hook Read online

  When I turn to look straight ahead of me again, there’s a bright red ancient Chinese bridge leading from the edge of the sidewalk into a giant white cloud of fog across the street. That bridge looks like what Alex described when she told me about that Zen garden in Hong Kong. How did that just appear here? This has to be a dream. Did I fall and hit my head after I remembered that match?

  Oh, shit! I stumble backwards as I suddenly notice the figure standing at the head of the bridge just to the side. It’s me! Well, the me from the dream. I’m wearing my boxing gear and I’m bruised, swollen, and bleeding. I take a few steps closer to myself and freeze.

  “It’s about time you finally allow yourself to see me. Alex is right; we’re out of time. We have to choose.”

  “What are you talking about? Choose what? Is this a dream?”

  “We’ve been in a meditative dream state for a while, but we have to wake up now or we never will.”

  A whisper on the air causes us both, or both of me, to look up. “Jordan, please open your eyes. I don’t want to lose you.”

  I look back at my beat-up-self. “I don’t understand. How are you there and I’m here if I am me and you are me?

  “We don’t have time to answer that here. You need to choose, now. Stay here and continue to dream or choose to live and learn how to dream there.”

  “Isn’t that what I’m doing? Oh, god, what is that?” My chest is tightening and I feel like someone just sucked the oxygen out of the world. I can’t seem to get enough air. My heart is pulsing too slowly; I don’t feel like I’m getting enough blood to my arms and legs. Everything’s becoming numb.

  “It’s happening. You must choose to break the reflection and cross the bridge or we stay here, alone.”

  “Alone? But everyone I know is here.”

  “No, they’re on the other side of the bridge. Including Alex. Break the reflection, Jordan.”

  I suddenly feel the weight of something in my right hand and look down. I have a solid iron hammer in my hand. I’ve never seen a solid metal hammer before. It feels fierce, but also comforting. I look back up and all I can see is myself holding the hammer. I’m completely encased in a box of mirrors. Break the reflection. You’re not only surface deep, Jordan. Break the mirrors! My chest tightens again and I feel like my vision is starting to fail me. Iron hammer – iron will. Break the damn mirrors. Now! Weak and shaking, I lift the hammer and swing it forward into the mirror. The whole box bursts into dust. I feel a rush of wind pull me forward, towards my other self. We collide and mesh as one.

  My boxing gloves and boxing clothes start to crumble and fall away. After a few moments, I’m standing next to the bridge completely naked. Panic increases and I turn my head around frantically to make sure there’s no one around. I’m completely alone except for a curious looking large black bird standing on the sidewalk a few feet back. He’s just standing there looking at me with his head slightly cocked to the side.

  I feel pain course through my body and I start gasping for air as I fall to my knees. The bird takes a couple small hops towards me and fear rushes through my veins like ice water. I take a couple breaths and look up at the bridge. I have to get across that bridge. Slowly, on trembling legs, I stand up and take a few steps forward. I grab on tightly to the handrail and inch my way across the bridge. I’m not getting enough air to sustain myself. I need help. I feel that ghostly touch of the invisible Alex upon my cheek. Alex, I’m coming. I take a few more steps, but fall and roll a couple feet.

  That black bird is now standing above me on the handrail looking down at me with his glassy black beady eyes. He crows at me and looks to the direction I need to go and then back down at me. I know bird. I’m trying.

  I’m only three feet from crossing the bridge. My eyes are blurry and everything is starting to turn black. I hear a faint whisper in my ear. I want to scream out to her, but I need all the air I have. I’m starting to blackout. No, I’m not going to lose her. I push with my legs, pushing myself closer to the end of the bridge. Inch by inch I get closer as the world around me gets darker. I feel like I’m being strangled; I just can’t breathe at all now.

  This can’t be it. All this time I’ve spent learning how to love life and learning how to dream. This just can’t be the end. I haven’t been able to see the best parts of life yet. And Alex, I need her.

  “Alex!”

  With the little bit of air that I have left, I choke out her name as I give one final push, falling over the end of the bridge. I feel myself floating, kind of like when you lay half submerged in a swimming pool. All of the pain I felt trying to cross the bridge is gone. My lungs feel open and I’m breathing normal again. Everything is bright white. I must be in that big cloud of fog. I look down at myself and I’m still naked. Weird, I have a single large black feather on my chest. I lift it up to inspect and it bursts into flames and disappears quickly. I stand up and look around me trying to see something through the fog. I can make out something ahead of me and I start walking towards it.

  Just in front of me there are two roads that fork off into different directions. I thought crossing that bridge would get me out of the dream and get me home. What is this place? The road to my left is a beautiful cobblestone road and reminds me of something in a fairytale. The road to my right is a cracked, pot hole ridden asphalt street with trash and debris in the street and on the sidewalks. I take a couple steps closer to each road, trying to decide which one to take. The road to the left is absolutely beautiful with all sorts of amazing plants and flowers. The road to my right looks like an ugly dirty city alley street. The road to my left reminds me of all those beautiful places that Alex envisioned in my mind. Those were such beautiful places.

  As I’m about to step onto the left road, I look back at the road to the right and notice something I hadn’t before. Climbing up the drainpipe against the brick building is a creeping vine weed with bright green heart shaped leaves and small purple trumpet shaped flowers. Home. I smile and quickly change directions to walk down the road on my right.

  Chapter Eight

  As soon as both of my feet are on the asphalt, the image fades. I close my eyes and shake my head. When I open my eyes, I’m lying on my back gasping for air again. This time, I’m not alone. There are so many faces hovering above me. They all look shocked; some are crying in hysterics. Wait, I know some of these people. My parents and Callie are all hovering on my right side. On my left side are what looks like nurses and doctors. Am I in the hospital?

  Suddenly, I have a weight on me and realize my mother has broken down sobbing over top of me. I try to speak, but it just comes out as a small raspy choked sound. My mom looks up at me and grabs my face in her hands before kissing me hard on my lips.

  “Oh, my baby girl, I have missed you so much.” I feel my eyes tear up. I try to lift my left hand to wrap an arm around her, but I can’t lift it and realize someone is holding my hand. That touch is familiar. I look to my left and see the woman holding my hand looks about my age and she has tear soaked cheeks. She has an almond shaped face, plump red lips, a small nose, and a light dusting of freckles on her cheeks, just under her eyes – those eyes, they’re gorgeous. Alex! I scream her name in my head, but nothing comes out. My mom leans in closer, saying, “She’s trying to say something.”

  Everyone gets very quiet and they move in closer to me. I try again, but my throat won’t work. A man’s voice, in the background, says, “She may not gain control to speak for some time. Her throat is also very raw and dry. Let’s try feeding her some ice chips and see if that helps lubricate her throat. Slowly though.”

  Alex tries to let go of my hand, but I tighten my fingers around her hand. I try to sit forward, but Alex presses a gentle hand against my shoulder. “Jordan, don’t try to move. Patricia, do you want to give her the ice? She doesn’t want to release my hand.” My mom nods and another nurse hands her a cup of shaved ice.

  My mom carefully spoons some ice into my mouth and its coldness is almos
t shocking. As the ice melts in my mouth and trickles to the back of my throat, I almost choke trying to figure out how to swallow. It seems like forever, taking spoonful by spoonful of ice shavings, before my throat doesn’t feel so desert dry anymore. I try to clear my throat. That works. I try to say, “hi”, and it actually comes out, but very low. Everyone gasps and moves closer to me.

  I look at Alex. The woman standing before me is very beautiful, but looks a little different, except for her eyes; they’re that mesmerizing seafoam green that I remember. “Alex.” I’m happy I can get her name out; it’s quiet, but it comes out. I hear everyone gasp again and Alex lets out a small sob and leans in closer to me. “Welcome back, Jordan.” Oh, that voice, that sweet velvety voice. I try to sit up again, but both Alex and my mom push me back down. Alex says, “Jordan, don’t try to move too much. Your body can’t handle it just yet.” I just want so badly to wrap my arms around her.

  “You were there and then you weren’t.” Alex looks surprised and her bottom lip trembles with emotion as her mouth curls into a small smile. “Alex, what happened?”

  Callie steps closer into view. She looks thinner than usual and is crying. “Callie.” She smiles and swallows hard. “Hey Pixie.” My mom moves aside and lets Callie take her place. She immediately takes my hand with both of her shaking hands and kisses my forehead.

  “You’ve been in a coma for three months. Tina threw a dirty right hook after you won the match at regionals.”

  Three months? I can only account for a couple weeks at most. But I guess none of it was real. No, something has to be real because Alex is real. I need to know how much of what happened in there was real. I need to know if what Alex told me is real.

  “This is my official notice of retirement.” They all let out a small laugh and have smiles on their faces while they wipe tears off their cheeks. “Me too, Pixie. I’m done competing.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “I can’t risk putting my loved ones through what I went through seeing you like this, waiting for you to come to. It was the hardest, most painful thing I’ve been through. I’m so sorry, Jordan. It’s all my fault.”

  “Callie, this wasn’t your fault. You’ve tried to get me to stop boxing many times and I never listened.”

  I look at Alex and squeeze her hand. She smiles and I smile back. I look around at everyone, and ask, “Can I have some time alone with Alex?” Callie squeezes my hand and leans over me giving me a hug before standing to leave. My parents also give me hugs and kisses and leave. Only the doctors and other nurses hesitate to leave, but Callie pretty much barks at them, saying, “Everyone out. Give them some space.” While they’re shuffling out, I hear a man’s voice, presumably a doctor, say, “Very interesting.”

  After everyone leaves, I look at Alex and she’s smiling in that familiar affectionate way that I saw in my head while I was out. “I thought I lost you.” She smiles and laughs a little. “Jordan, I’m the one that thought I lost you.”

  “They pulled the plug, didn’t they?” Her smile disappears and a tear streaks down her cheek as she nods. “I am so sorry.”

  “Who made the call?” She looks towards the door and back to me. “Are you sure you want to know that?” I squeeze her hand and she nods. She bends down and whispers in my ear, “Your father signed the papers.”

  My dad is my power of attorney – that will change after today. I can’t believe he would do that. He knew my wishes were to be kept on life support for as long as possible if anything was to happen to me. I don’t believe in euthanasia of humans.

  “I heard that Callie and your mom both attacked him when they found out. Several orderlies had to pull them off him.”

  “Did I die?” Alex’s face purses in sadness and she nods as more tears streak down her cheeks. “You were dead for a full two minutes before you came back. It was the longest, worst two minutes of my life. Jordan, what was I to you in there? How do you know me?”

  “It’s too much to explain right now. My throat hurts. What are you to me here?”

  “I’ve been your nurse, looking after you and taking care of you every day.”

  “Did you talk to me?” She nods. “For hours every day. Could you hear me?” I nod. “I think so. Do you like classical music, yoga, and simple joys?” Alex smiles and laughs in a happy surprised way. “Yes.”

  “Alex, when I was dying, you said something in there that I don’t know if I imagined or if you really said, but I hope it was real because I do too.” Alex lets out a small sob and smiles. She wipes at her eyes, looks towards the door, and then bends down kissing me on the lips. Her other hand gently presses against my cheek while she holds her lips against mine. Her touch is so soft and comforting. Her lips feel so good against mine. I feel my heart palpitate in joy. After a few moments, she pulls back smiling.

  “I’m not sure what was real and what my mind made up in there, but we had such amazing conversations. I can’t believe they weren’t real; they felt so real. Alex, you taught me how to love life and how to dream. Did you talk about a flower market?” Alex smiles and nods. “I bought you a flower there.”

  “Blue forget-me-nots?”

  “This is amazing. Yes, they’re by your bedside.” I look over at them and they look just as I imagined in my head. “They are just as beautiful as I dreamed about.”

  “I can’t wait for you to feel well enough to tell me everything. I learned so much about you from your mom and Callie while you were out that I feel like I know everything about you. I never imagined you could actually hear me. I had hoped, but I didn’t really think it was possible. I want to ask you something, but I don’t know if it’s too much to try and talk about right now.”

  “Ask.”

  “Well, when you felt like you were dying, how did you come back?” I smile and squeeze her hand. “I can tell you in more detail another time, but it was really because of you that I was able to get out of there. I could hear you and feel your touch. I love your voice and your hands. I don’t know how I know them, but I know your eyes too.” Alex laughs a little and blushes. “Well, it’s probably because of Callie that you know what I look like. The first time she saw me, she grinned and said if you were awake you would fall in love with me because of my eyes. She said you have a weakness for uniquely beautiful eyes. She went into embarrassing detail describing me to you.”

  “You are more beautiful than she helped me to see in my mind.” Alex blushes and rubs her thumb across my cheek. “I have spent three months getting to know you from those that love you, and I have spent those same three months memorizing every detail about you – your face, your hair, your hands, everything, except your eyes. I’m so happy to finally see your eyes looking at me full of life. After your swelling, bruises, and cuts healed, I couldn’t believe such a pretty girl would be a boxer.”

  “Memorized everything, huh?” I grin at her and she blushes bright red and laughs. “I promise it wasn’t like that when I was taking care of you. I didn’t take advantage of you or lust over you.” I grin wider and tease, “Not even just a little?” She laughs and the blush on her cheeks and neck gets even darker. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling well enough to joke. I’ve heard you have a great sense of humor and always make people laugh so easily.”

  “We had some really good laughs together.” She smiles and squeezes my hand. “I can’t wait to hear all about it. Was I a friend or something in there?”

  “You were someone I felt like my heart was uniting to. You said something like that to me about a song called Love Dream.” Alex smiles and shakes her head. “I just can’t believe this is happening. I guess it is true what they say, ‘things happen for a reason’.”

  “I’ve always hated that saying.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because.” My voice croaks from being dry. Alex reaches for the ice and gently slips her hand out of mine to give me some more shavings to lubricate my throat. While she gives me a few spoons of ice shavings, she has a wonderfully
loving smile on her face. Our eyes meet and both of our smiles widen.

  “Thank you.” She wipes a drip of water off my bottom lip and gently caresses my cheek before setting the cup down and taking my hand in hers again. “You’re welcome. Do you need to take a break from talking?”

  “No, I’m ok. So, I’ve never liked that saying because it always feels like people are trying to give some kind of divine credit for something tragic, as if we can’t understand the reason for it now, but maybe in the next life we will. It always seemed cowardly to me, like people just don’t want to accept that horrible stuff happens without explanation or reason. But after what I experienced in there and having the amazing conversations we had, it makes me see the statement differently. I still don’t want to give divine credit to it because that would take away from what you and I put into it, but I think what that statement really means is that in everything that happens, we should be an apprentice of the situation and find purpose in it.”

  “You have no idea how happy I am right now that you are awake and we are able to talk like this. What purpose did you learn from this, Young Apprentice?” I smile at the name. “How to live and dream, Doc Shaman?” She laughs and smiles. “Doc Shaman?”

  “It was a whole thing we had; it’s what I called you while you were teaching me how to fully appreciate life and how to see myself for more than just what I saw on the surface.”

  “Sounds fascinating. I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

  Another nurse pops her head in the door and politely says, “Alex, we need to start running some tests soon. Dr. Hamlin wants you to stay with Jordan for the rest of the day so we’re covering your rounds for you. They’ll be here soon.” She smiles in a genuine way and walks away. My parents and Callie quickly take her place and are walking back into the room. My mom comes up to the other side of my bed and takes my other hand.