Building the Life (The Dancing Wolf Book 3) Read online

  It’s cold at first, but then my skin erupts in fire. I pinch my eyes closed tightly while I bite back a scream. Awenasa bends down and kisses my forehead and cheek. She runs her fingers up and down my other shoulder, sending shivers down my spine.

  “Will you sing with me?” I look up at Awenasa and she’s addressing Madison, who smiles and nods. “Ok, what do you want to sing?” Awenasa leans over on her elbow, somewhat laying down next to me while she continues to stroke my arm and back. Awenasa looks down at me smiling and kisses my head. “Can you follow my lead?”

  “As long as it’s in English.”

  Awenasa laughs and nods. She clears her throat and starts singing the words of one of my favorite Native American folklore stories about a wolf. I smile and close my eyes as they turn the story into a beautiful song. I wince and groan a few more times as Shannon cleans my burn really well. Then the burn just continues to sting with deep heat. After they finish the song, I open my eyes smiling.

  “That was beautiful. Thank you.”

  They smile and just look in my eyes. Awenasa strokes my head and cheek and wiggles my nose playfully, making me smile again, despite my pain.

  “This may be a dumb question, but why do you think Kayla has the hawk totem now, just because the burn is shaped like one?”

  Awenasa looks up at Sam and shakes her head.

  “It’s not a dumb question. Spirit animals, or totems, are guides that help us on our many journeys in life. Most people will connect very strongly to one particular animal guide, but it’s not uncommon to have more than totem, or for them to change throughout your life, depending on your journey. An animal guide chooses you, often without you realizing it, because it reaches you on a spiritual level first. The hawk is the messenger of the spirit world and brings focus, enlightenment, and clear vision. The hawk can help you foresee what has yet to happen. The hawk helps to keep you closely tied to the spirit world so you may better understand things. Kayla paid a beautiful tribute to the hawk tonight in her dance and trusted in the hawk spirit to guide her from the roof to the ground unharmed when she leapt off that seven-foot-tall shed. The hawk spirit blessed her with foresight and flight to protect Shiloh. The shape of the burn is like a calling card. The hawk wanted to show Kayla gratitude for her dance tribute and to let her to know that she was chosen for a new journey.”

  “What new journey?” Awenasa looks at me smiling. “Reconnecting to her roots and teaching her family the intricacy of all things. The spirit world has acknowledged the responsibility she must fulfill and blessed her with guidance in accomplishing it. Through the hawk, she and you will learn the way of a fuller life.”

  My mom comes in and kneels down next to my other side, so I look over at her. She smiles and kisses my forehead.

  “How are you feeling, my sweet angel?”

  “The heat is radiating through my whole shoulder and into my arm and back. It feels like a hot iron is being pressed into me.”

  My mom lifts a sponge out of a bowl of liquid and squeezes it, before gently placing it on my burn. I gasp and close my eyes. She repeats this several times, and each time, it makes me gasp and wince in pain. After she removes the sponge again, and the pain slightly subsides, my mom looks up at Awenasa.

  “Ready?”

  Before I can ask what they’re doing, they cup their hands above my burn and Awenasa starts to sing quietly in Cherokee. It’s more of a chant, but it’s beautiful. I close my eyes as I start to feel a weird sensation in my burn site. It tingles and feels almost like its bubbling, like when I’ve put peroxide on a cut. I gasp as I feel a weird tugging sensation in the center of the burn. It feels like the heat is coiling into a rope and its being tugged out of my skin. After a couple minutes of this, I feel as if that rope is hooking into me and is resisting the pull. It centers on one spot painfully hot, making me scream out and arch my back some. It suddenly yanks out and my body relaxes, feeling a calming coolness on the burn site. I smile and open my eyes. Awenasa stops chanting and they pull their hands back.

  “What did you do? I felt like the heat was being pulled out of me and it doesn’t burn at all anymore. It feels cool.” My mom smiles. “It was. Feel the water.” She holds the bowl up and I put my finger in it and recoil. It feels like it was just poured from a screaming kettle. “But that’s like magic. How did you do that?” My mom and Awenasa laugh a little and my mom kisses my forehead. “Spiritual medicine. You were touched by a spirit, so spirit medicine was necessary to help you heal.”

  “Wait, isn’t like that witchcraft? No offense, because that was awesome.” My mom looks up at Sam and shakes her head. “The Europeans coined that term to dissuade the practice of non-Christian religions and ceremonies and free thinkers. Spiritual and natural medicines are the most powerful blessings we have from our creator and Mother Earth and they are not evil practices as the term witchcraft would insinuate.”

  “That makes sense. How has the burn already faded? Is there something special in the water you put on her? It’s not as red and just kind of pink.”

  “The water has sweetgrass and sage in it, which are both good spiritual cleansers. The water offered a conductor for the spiritual heat she had in her to be pulled out and redirected into the bowl. We used our own energy and life force to grab the heat and extract it.”

  “Could you feel it?” Awenasa sits forward and takes Sam’s hands. “Yes, we could feel it. I’ll show you. Hold your hands palm up and close your eyes.” I watch as Sam’s hands start to rise and fall, but Awenasa’s don’t move at all. After a few moments, Sam laughs and pulls her hands back, shaking them out. “That was so weird. It tingled and felt like strings were attached to me or something.”

  “Most people know it as your aura, but it’s basically your spirit and life force. It can be extended from your body to influence others or detect others. Ever notice how sometimes just standing next to a person makes you nervous or upset, but you don’t know why because they’re not doing anything wrong?” Sam nods. “You were feeling their spirit. Negative and dangerous spirits tend to extend wildly from the body.”

  “Kayla, you’re going to have to lay still for a little while now. I need to apply the poultice.”

  “Well, if you took the heat out or whatever, can’t we just put some cream or something on it so we can go back to the feast? My wife and babies haven’t eaten yet.”

  “Just one hour, sweetie. This will help speed the healing. I’ll bring in some food for all of you.”

  “Ok.” A hand runs through my hair, so I look back over to the other side again. Awenasa bends down and kisses my lips for a moment. “Sit up some, my love.”

  I listen and she moves to sit down in front of me with her legs out straight at an angle. I smile and practically leap onto her lap as I wrap my arms around her waist and lay in her soft fur clad lap. I release a small happy content sound and she giggles as she runs her hand through my hair.

  “Ok, Lena, she’s ready.”

  My mom applies a thick wet paste to my back and then lays a couple cool rags over it. After she’s done. She stands up and playfully pinches my cheek.

  “Ok, angel, you’re all set. Try not to move or the poultice will get all over the place. I’ll bring you some food in a little bit.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” After my mom leaves, Sam asks Awenasa, “Can I ask you something?”

  “Yes.”

  “How did Kayla present you with the promise ring when you were ten?”

  “We were here for the gathering, like we are now. I looked all over the house and lawn for Kayla, but couldn’t find her anywhere. Her mom thought she might be in the woods, so I went to look for her. Just before I reached the edge of the woods, I saw a stake in the ground with a note attached to it. It said, ‘Hello, Priestess. Can you find my spirit?’. I wasn’t a priestess at the time, but I was being groomed to be one, so I accepted the challenge. I slowly entered the woods and I tried to extend my life force as far as I could. At that time, the furthest I could
sense something was five feet. So, I pushed through the woods, trying to sense her with my spirit. There wasn’t any sound at all. It was as if the woods knew the test I had been given and was silencing itself so I couldn’t use it to detect her. No leaves rustled, no branches brushed against each other in the trees, and no birds or insects made a single noise.”

  “It was creepy actually. I sensed the shift in the forest and my heart started racing. I could tell that something spiritual was happening and I was almost scared that I’d made a mistake, like maybe I provoked something. I knew the instant she was in the woods, but I couldn’t hear her either.”

  “It was very disorienting, and experiencing something so intense at only ten years old was a little scary. But I pushed through anyway. I was in the woods for over five minutes and I silently wished I could see from above, to get a greater view of the woods. Suddenly, a small sound made my head shoot up to the trees. There was a hawk on a branch nearby. I smiled and closed my eyes, asking it to help me see. When I opened my eyes, the hawk was gone and I had a sense of where I needed to go. It took a couple minutes to get to her, but I found her tucked between a fallen tree and a three feet wide tree. I would have never seen her just walking by. When I found her, she had her arms wrapped around her knees and had her face in arms and she was trembling. As soon as I knelt down, she threw her arms around me and pulled me down on top of herself.

  “In that moment, it felt like the woods started to breathe again, as if it was holding its breath before. Sound returned and a tingling that the air had was gone. We looked at each other and smiled. We laid in the crook between those trees for a long time, just talking and holding each other. While I was laying on her chest telling her stories from home, Kayla played with my left hand. She kept tracing my ring finger, and it was sending shivers down my back. After I stopped talking, Kayla pulled the ring out and slipped it on my finger, saying, ‘I’m going to marry you one day’.”

  “What did you say?”

  “I told her, ‘yes, you are.’ She smiled really big, kissed my forehead, and whispered, ‘we are one now’. We continued to lay in the woods in that spot till it was dark and people were calling for us.”

  “That was intense. I have goosebumps now.”

  “How are you doing, angel?” I lift my head and see my mom and Awenasa’s Aunt Alani coming in with trays of food and drinks for us. “Good. It doesn’t really hurt anymore. It’s kind of just a dull rawness.” They set the trays down on the dresser top and my mom comes over to check my back. She lifts the rags for a moment and then gently lays them back down. “After you eat, you should be ok to wash the poultice off and rejoin the feast.”

  “Ok, thanks, Mom.”

  Alani smiles at me and Awenasa, but doesn’t say anything before she follows my mom back out of the room. Madison and Shannon stand up to grab the plates of food and Shannon hands one to Awenasa and Sam, before she grabs one for herself. I look up at Awenasa and she smiles down at me. She sets the plate down on the pillow next to her and offers me a bite of roasted chicken.

  While I lay in her lap, Awenasa feeds both of us and my girls eat next to us. I feel really happy in this moment. I rub Awenasa’s back and hip, nuzzling my head against her thigh. She runs her fingers through my hair and rubs my back and left shoulder that’s not burned. After we’ve finished eating, Madison and Shannon take everyone’s plates back to the trays on the dresser. I look up at Awenasa, and start to lift up, but she holds me down.

  “Don’t move, love. You’ll get the herbs all over your parents’ bed. Shannon, can you wash the poultice off?” Shannon smiles and nods. “I’ll get a bowl of water and a sponge.”

  When Shannon comes back, she kneels down next to me. She carefully lifts the rags and gently wipes up the herbs with the rags. It makes me flinch a little bit from the friction on my raw skin, but it’s not painful, just bothersome. She gently pats the burn with a wet sponge a few times and then rubs my lower back.

  “Ok, sweetie, you’re all cleaned up. This really looks a lot better. It probably won’t scar too badly. I’ll go get you some clothes.”

  “Thanks, baby.”

  When Shannon returns, she tries to help me into a bra, but the straps rub my raw burn too much, so we skip the bra and she just puts me in a tank top.

  When we get outside, Shiloh spots me and comes running towards me. I smile and laugh a little as her adorable chubby cheeks puff in a big grin. She jumps in front of me with her arms in the air for me to pick her up. I scoop her up and toss her in the air before resting her on my left hip.

  “Hello, little one. Are you ready to dance with me?” She giggles and nods vigorously. “You better?” I smile and ruffle her hair. “Much better.”

  We make our way to the dance ring, where there are several kids and adults dancing and laughing with each other. Shiloh’s mom, my Aunt Erika, spots us and comes over before we can step into the ring.

  “She has been tugging on my arm every two minutes asking where you are. Thank you for what you did. It was a miracle you got to her so quickly. How are you feeling?”

  “I’m feeling pretty good. My wife and mom performed some amazing healing power in there. Its raw and tender, but it will heal quickly.”

  “It definitely was a blessing you had the two best healers in the tribe to tend to you. You couldn’t get better treatment in a hospital.” I smile and look at Awenasa, who is looking at me with a very happy smile. “I know.” I lean over and gently kiss Awenasa’s lips. “Shiloh promised me a dance. Do you mind if I borrow her?” Aunt Erika smiles and pinches Shiloh’s sides, making her laugh and squirm on my hip. “Ok, you go have fun.”

  Chapter Five

  It warms my heart to watch my girls trying to learn the traditional native dance and laughing and having a good time with me and Awenasa. They’re all really good with the kids too, which makes my heart burst and something lurch inside me with a strong desire to start having kids.

  Madison and Sam want children, but they want to wait till they graduate college to become pregnant. That would leave Shannon and Awenasa as possible options for bearing our first children if we really can’t wait another three years. Which, I don’t think we can. Awenasa and I really want children, badly. I don’t think she’ll want to wait long now that we’re starting our lives together finally.

  We fall down on a blanket in exhaustion, laughing and smiling after dancing really hard and lifting and spinning so many children for a couple hours. Sam lays her head down in Madison’s lap and Shannon lays her head on Sam’s stomach. I smile as I look at them and see the happiness and love that they feel together. They notice me looking at them and smile at me.

  “You’re picking up the dance techniques pretty quickly. Before you know it, you’ll be doing the Hoop Dance.”

  “The what?” I smile and laugh a little bit. “Awenasa is Cherokee and Navajo. The Hoop Dance is a Navajo dance that uses small hoops. It’s a pretty complicated dance because you have to jump through the hoops like a jump rope and other difficult tricks. It’s pretty awesome to watch.”

  “Can you do it?”

  “No, I haven’t been able to master that one yet.” Sam laughs a little and says, “Baby, if you can’t do it, you really think we’ll be able to?”

  “Actually, I think you’d be better at it than me.” She smiles really big. “Why is that?”

  “You’re more petite, so you’d fit through the hoops more easily.” Sam looks at Awenasa, and asks, “Can you do it?” Awenasa nods. “I can. Do you want to learn?”

  “Yes, but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow though. Kayla and her love of children wore me out. Good thing our kids are going to have so many mommies or I’d be way too exhausted all the time to do anything.” I laugh really hard and all my girls and my wife look at me with happy smiles. “So, when are we having children?” All of them laugh again. Awenasa runs her fingers through my hair and kisses my cheek. “Give me one year to finally have you for my wife and then we can start having child
ren.”

  I smile really big and throw my arms around her. I kiss her lips and our lips part and tongues slide along each other’s. I inhale deeply and feel my body heat rising. I can feel the heat prickling on the back of my neck and in my ears. The heat and arousal muffles sounds in my ears and I start to feel light headed and giddy. My hands glide down her strong bare back and I grip her hips, making her release a small moan into my mouth.

  She quickly pulls back, breathing hard. She smiles as she looks in my eyes and stands up, taking my hand and pulling me up with her. I trip over the blanket and laugh as she starts to lead me away. I look back at my girls and they look sad, but also amused.

  I blow them a kiss and call out, “See you in the morning.” They give me a small wave, and after tripping again, I turn around to see where I’m walking as Awenasa continues to lead me to her tipi.

  She has a giant traditional tipi that is tall enough to stand up in. I gasp as we step inside. It’s beautiful. The tipi is lighted by LED lanterns she has scattered around, giving it a nice white glow. She has a hammock setup along one side with a blanket folded up in its center. Along another side is a table with a large clay wash basin and matching pitcher for pouring water. There are some suitcases and bags neatly arranged to the side of the table. And in the center of the tipi she has made a bed with blankets and soft furs. After she secures the tipi entrance, she wraps her arms around the back of my neck with a very serene smile.

  “You have no idea how hard it has been sacrificing this time with you. I have wanted to come to you so many times, especially when you were injured so badly in the autumn. I didn’t think I’d be able to get myself to go home if I did though. Are you upset with me for not telling you before that I wanted a real relationship with you?”

  “I understand why you did what you did, but I wish I had known. For eight years, I did everything I thought I could do to show you that I want to be with you and want to marry you and have children together. When we got married last year, I thought that would be the final act I needed to perform to show how serious I am in what I want. It did hurt that we didn’t change. Then when Sam broke up with me, I was completely devastated. I felt like I had lost both of you. I felt empty and frozen. I know we talked like we always have, but I wanted more. I needed more.” Her eyes tear up and she presses her lips to mine. “I know. I could sense your pain and it hurt me too. I am very sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to tell you last summer. I feared that I couldn’t fulfil my responsibility if I told you.”